


Summer Owlery Prompt 2 (Untitled)

by gameofdrarrymod



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Epistolary, Hogwarts Eighth Year, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-05-01 20:35:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19185085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gameofdrarrymod/pseuds/gameofdrarrymod
Summary: Post-war Hogwarts students that didn't finish their education are invited back for an eighth-year of study to make up for their lost education. Since this is an unusual situation all eighth-year students are put in one common room and shared dormitories. Harry isn't the only one reluctant to return to school. Students from all houses are now stuck together with their own pain from their time in the war and their memories of Hogwarts. To help heal old wounds Harry decides to form an eighth-year quidditch league. Unfortunately looking around, not many eighth year students are good flyers. One person, however, is the obvious choice to be the other captain to lead these rag-tag teams. Harry is reluctant at first, but resolute and determined to unite his fellow eighth years





	1. Letter 1- Harry

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of the 2019 Summer Owlery Exchange. This is a work in progress in which the authors have been matched and will correspond back and forth anonymously as Harry and Draco for the duration of the exchange until reveals. Tags will be updated as the work progresses. Authors will be revealed at the completion of the exchange.

~~Malfoy,~~

~~I’m writing to you because~~

 

~~Draco,~~

~~How are things going...~~

 

~~Malfoy,~~

~~Well, this is awkward~~

 

~~Dear Malfoy,~~

~~I was wondering how~~

 

Hey,

 

Please don’t throw this away before reading it. I understand why you might want to and why you might be suspicious of why I am writing you at all, but just hear me out. Please.

 

I know things haven’t been easy for you the past two weeks. I know some people are bullying you and treating you like shit, particularly younger students, are making things difficult. I hope you know that I am not a part of that. Although some of those idiots are claiming to do it in my name. I hate my name, and for people to use it like that after everything makes me sick. I have tried to put a stop to it, but I also respect that you can take care of yourself.

 

I think it’s really brave, you being here. We may have hated each other once, but frankly, I’m tired. I don’t have the energy to hate you anymore. Especially not after what you and your mother did for me. But mostly because I just want it all to be done.

 

I think most of us eighth years are finding ourselves in this strange place between student and adult. We have seen and experienced more hatred and pain and death before we officially came of age than some people ever do in a lifetime; and yet, here we are in this bizarre time-warp.

 

We eat breakfast every morning in a room that once hosted us as excited children waiting to be sorted, was decorated for our first yule ball and later used as triage for the wounded and a battleground for the end of a war. We walk these halls to get to class, the same ones that we once walked laughing and pranking our friends, fighting petty duels in, and later saw exploded by curses as we tried to rush to save the people we loved, screams echoing around us. Now we live in this castle, haunted by both the dark and the lovely memories, unsure of who we are. We are so out of place as we pretend to be students.

 

We remember the innocence we began with but see the scars everywhere. So we go to class, receive homework, have a curfew and raise our hands to ask questions to the teacher like we are still children. Most of us haven’t been children for a long time.

 

The thing is this, I’m tired. I don’t want to keep fighting anymore. I look around our common room and I see haunted eyes and lost silence.

 

When I look around at the students who are instigating fights with you and others, on the grounds of “moral superiority” and “they’re scum”,  I see students who are perpetuating prejudice and the pattern is resetting. When does it end?

 

I think eighth-year wants to be at peace. But now, all trapped in one common room for the first time, unsure of what to say, or how to connect, we sit at a stalemate. The air in that room is oppressive as we all wait in quiet fear of being the one to tip things off and make it all start again.

 

I’ve been talking it over with ‘Mione, she seems to think (and she’s usually right) that we need to find some way to connect with each other. Something to bring us together both for our own sense of peace and healing, and as a way to show those wayward younger students who want to continue a war they couldn’t possibly understand that it is **over**. If we can be unified and move towards the sort of future we want, we can lead them by example.

 

She’s much cleverer that I am… I was trying to figure out when it’s acceptable to punch a 14-year-old.

 

Look, I don’t know you. Maybe I never did, maybe you are the arrogant, spoiled prat I always imagined; maybe your life is more complicated than I could see. I honestly don’t know.

 

I do know that I don’t want to, nor can I be the only person leading this revolution. I don’t think the Slytherins would ever trust or follow me. I think even the students that simply stood back and fled think I judge them for not running headlong into a war. I don’t judge them. I envy them. Some of us, people like you and I, weren’t given a choice.

 

I had a crazy idea that I think might just be my worst one yet (I once thought it was a good idea to ride a dragon out of the bowels of Gringotts, so be very afraid.) But I don’t want to create inter-house unity and cooperation through banners and speeches. This isn’t one of those bloody bullshit ministry fundraisers they’re trying to push on us. When I was 13, I was trying to conjure a Patronus, and I was asked to think of my happiest memory. One of my most powerful was the first time I rode a broom (ironically, you were the reason I defied Hooch in the first place, so I guess you were sort of a part of that). The time I’ve spent flying has been some of the purest joy in my life. Then it occurred to me, so was my time playing catch up quidditch, or seekers matches with friends, or maybe even the times I beat you...

 

I want to form a Quidditch league. And before you think I’m nuts because Quidditch is competitive in nature, it would be made up solely of eighth-year students. There aren't enough of us from any single house, we’d have to form two inter-house teams.

 

Looking around, you are one of the only remaining players from any previous house team. Also, I think as a Slytherin (in fact, the de-facto “Prince of Slytherin”), you might lend more respectability to the genuine cooperation of the group. It’s also good that you are someone of adequate skill, I suppose.

 

I want to approach McGonagall and poll the class, see if anyone else is interested. Fair warning, it’s a ragtag bunch. With only 20 remaining students from all four houses, we’d have to recruit people like Hermione (who can’t fly to save her life). I expect this might be a frustrating endeavour at times. But it might be fun. I mean what have you got to lose?

 

Scared Malfoy?

 

Assuming you didn’t burn this letter upon opening it, write me back and let me know how you feel.

 

Harry


	2. Letter 2 -  Draco

Harry,

 

Delightful of you to send a letter. I was assuming it would be stuffed with a variety of jinxes and potentially a curse or two, but I must say I was pleasantly surprised. I suppose I’m in a good mood.

 

I have just gotten back from a delightful encounter with a pair of 4th years, in all their short-sighted, repellent behavior. After calling me a shocking variety of various swear words, they apparently thought it would be funny to use Diffindo. Which, I will say, is rather painful when used in great numbers on one’s skin. Especially when combined with the hundreds of other curses that have been sprung upon me lately. 

 

And don’t feel bad about it, Harry. What can I say? We chose our sides and now I deal with the consequences. I think it’s relatively mild compared to what would have faced you had Voldemort won. 

 

It’s funny, isn’t it? The war is over but the battles have just begun. I’m sure you see the effects over on your end; I see them on mine. I see them in Pansy’s nightmares and Blaise’s screams, in the hollow looks in Theo’s eyes. I see them on students with their sleeves pulled low over their arms, all of them Slytherins and all of them far too young. 

 

And you’re right. The pattern continues on. I was a prefect in 5th year, remember. I was the one sitting with crying first years, because they were sorted into the evil house. There was one girl who I remember quite vividly - her name was Natascha. She cried and cried and cried, all night, because her family were all Gryffindors and she was afraid that she would be forced to join Voldemort’s side. She went home for winter break and never returned - I still wonder where she went. 

 

There was never any innocence for us, Harry. We’ve always been told that our birthright is magic, that we descend from lines and lines of dark wizards. We’re all that’s left, the broken remains of a shattered house. We’re scorned and mocked and ignored and can you blame us for snapping?

 

And I suppose you could say that our history doesn’t dictate who we are but I know better and I say that’s bullshit. It’s all bullshit. War and fighting and that endless circle of blame that goes around and around and around. 

 

I think I lied up there, in my first few opening statements. I am not in a good mood. I am, in fact, royally pissed off. 

 

But you wrote to me for other reasons, didn’t you Harry? Not to hear me go off about the unfair treatment of Slytherin House. You wrote to me about Quidditch. It amazed me how simple that statement is, some little relic from our past life. I seem to remember an all-consuming desire to kick your skinny ass, way back in 4th year. I still may have that same desire. 

 

Though, I’m not exactly sure how good of an idea this is. You want to gather 14 traumatized students, put them on flying sticks hundreds of meters in the air and throw balls at them? And you and I both know that we’re damn good seekers - the game would be over in an instant. It’s basically a game of catch-the-snitch, with 12 extra people floating aimlessly around. Though I would pay good money to see Granger on a broom (and I’m sure Pansy would too.)

 

I’ll have to give it some thought. But I am interested, Harry - you write as if we are strangers. As if we didn’t spend the last 7 years together. As if….

 

I know you know how we once felt. Yes, we never acknowledged it, but it was there. Don’t dance around it, Harry. And don’t pretend that the main reason for this Quidditch League is inter-house unity. Inter-house unity my ass. You just want to play me again, up in the sky where there’s no place to hide. You want to be us again. 

 

As I said, I’ll think about it. 

 

Draco

 

PS: Why did you write a letter when you could have literally walked up to me and asked me? Were you scared, Potter?


	3. Letter 3 - Harry

Draco,

You should never fear for your safety when opening a letter from me. If experience has taught us anything, I don’t have the patience to wait and strategically curse a letter, I react first and think later. It’s not one of my finer attributes. With all that’s happened between us, you ought to know by now that what you see is what you get.

Well, except when it’s not. The thing I’m not good at is sharing my thoughts when I’m not angry, or focussed on a task. Hermione says I’m “emotionally stupid”. I chose to write, rather than speak to you in person, because I honestly didn’t know how you’d react. I wanted to be able to order my thoughts and lay out my idea without blowing it.

I only had the one chance to get it right. You know it’s a delicate situation. A single thoughtless word from either of us and we’d be dueling in the trophy room at midnight. I’m sometimes too proud and too reactive. So are you.

The other reason is that sharing the more honest and vulnerable parts of myself is both foreign and frightening to me. Opening up to someone that I have a violent and adversarial past with not to mention the other stuff, is even more difficult. I guess I thought it was necessary to be open with you if I was going to gain your trust and therefore your partnership in my crazy scheme. Funny thing is, you’re right. I wasn’t Gryffindor enough to approach you in person.

I am Gryffindor enough I suppose, to share that I don’t think all of Slytherin house deserves the reputation it has, but I think for a long time there _you_ did. Frankly, Malfoy, you were a spoiled, hateful, pureblood, arse. Meeting you is one of the reasons I wasn’t sorted into Slytherin. The first time I saw you, you insulted Hagrid, the first person that was ever kind to me, the person that took me away from my abusive family and told me I wasn’t useless trash. The second time, you insulted the first person my age that ever wanted to be my friend. I don’t suppose I ever told you that. I could have gone either way, but M comes before P alphabetically and I didn’t like you so I asked the hat to put me in Gryffindor, it said I would have done well in Slytherin. I dunno, some days I can see it.

Merlin, what’s wrong with me? I’m exactly the problem. I guess I could have erased those sentences, but I’m trying this new thing, ‘Mione says I need to express my feelings and let them out. I’m sorry though. I don’t want to be angry at you. I want to get to know you beyond our pent up anger and…

Why is this harder to talk about...I guess even in a letter it’s easier for me to discuss anger and frustration than things that matter.

But we never did that did we Draco? Discuss things. Even when we found those secret moments together? There has always been so much between us, either throwing punches or screaming at each other till we pushed one another other behind statues for a frantic, never discussed snog. I meant what I said when I apologized in the hospital wing. It was sincere, I didn’t know what that curse did. What I never said was that if I had, I don’t know for certain I wouldn’t have cast it anyway in the heat of anger. I’m not a hero. Sometimes I’m not even a good person.

Maybe it’s naive of me, but I thought that after we talked and cried, whispering plaintive truths and fears to one another in the darkness of the hospital wing, you might have trusted me enough to choose to escape. ~~I thought then that maybe there could be something~~  I guess I understand why you didn’t...couldn’t.

Look, that’s done. It’s past. We can’t go back so let’s just not discuss it.

Yes. I want to put 14 angry, isolated, grieving students on brooms and let them whack balls at each other. Talk about therapy...could be cathartic, but we'd also have to work together, learn to rely on each other, and who knows, it might just be fun. Sports are a great way to bond and I didn’t figure you fancied a drama club, but if you want, it’s probably just as effective to dress up and watch you moodily contemplate a skull. Maybe I’ll play Laertes and we can duel with swords. You think you're fit enough to pull off the doublet and hose? ~~I’d certainly like to find out.~~

Back to Quidditch, if you think it’s a game of catch the snitch, and that the other 6 players have no impact on the game, what have you got to lose? I have a different opinion. I think building a solid strategy and picking the right players is key. The rest of the team can certainly impact the focus and ability of the seeker to catch the snitch, and a poor team can bring down a brilliant seeker. Or have you already forgotten the 1994 World Cup? Come at me Malfoy.

By the way, while you were dithering about whether or not you wanted to play, I made a signup sheet. You may have seen it in the common room? I copied it here (Ok ‘Mione did with a spell and added the emphasis for players from former house teams. She scoffed at me, but honestly, when am I ever going to use these spelIs?) I took the liberty of adding your name but you are always free to decline.

 

 

**SLYTHERIN**

**_Draco Malfoy_ **

**_Gregory Goyle_ **

Pansy Parkinson

Blaise Zabini

Theodore Nott

 

**GRYFINDOR**

**_Harry Potter_ **

**_Ronald Weasley_ **

**_Dean Thomas_ **

Hermione Granger

 

**RAVENCLAW**

Michael Corner 

Anthony Goldstein

Terry Boot

 

**HUFFLEPUFF**

Susan Bones

Hanna Abbott

Justin Finch-Fletchly

Ernie MacMillan

 

 

It’s as I expected, a very eclectic and odd bunch of players.

But again, Quidditch can be a very complicated and fascinating game, if you play and build your team well.

One especially good asset is a strong beater.

I’ve spoken to Greg, I looked around and saw he was the best player available for the position.

I had a really good chat with him. I’d never done that before, he was never talkative, and he’s even less so now. He's virtually a stranger to me. This war really took a toll on him. Same as it did all of us, but I didn’t know about him and Vince. I can’t imagine what it feels like to lose someone you loved like that and not even be able to share what they meant to you with the world. His dad is an arse, but I suppose it’s doubly confusing to be so angry at someone and yet still so sad and frightened to see them in Azkaban.

I only intended to get a player, but I ended up making a friend.

That said, my friend Greg will be playing for my team. Still think it’s a game of catch the Snitch?

Your move Malfoy.

Also, it is in fact, about inter-house unity. ~~Putting your arse on display where there is no place to hide it is a happy side-effect.~~

 

 

Regards,

Harry Potter

 

 

P.S.

Draco, which students attacked you?  I know you don’t want to retaliate, they’ll accuse you of attacking them. I know you don’t want to tell McGonagall, I wouldn’t either. But did you see Pomfrey? Are you OK. Obviously I only ask because I don’t want you to be able to claim that my victory was due to injury.

Ok, No, I sort of want to punch them too. This has to stop.


	4. Letter 4 - Draco

Harry, 

Pansy is thrilled, Harry. Absolutely thrilled. So happy that she said, (and I quote her exactly on this) “Really? Harry let me be on a Quidditch Team? Me? I’m so happy! I want to hug him! Violently! With my fists!” (Side note - Pansy is slightly insane. Just thought I should throw that out there.)

Merlin. I don’t know how long I’ve sat here for, staring at the blank sheet in front of me. I can hear you, downstairs in the common room. I could recognize your laugh anywhere, Harry - that’s how well I know you.

You’re right. We never did much talking, did we? I suppose there wasn’t much to say. You on your side and me on mine and I thought I was so damn clever that I didn’t reveal anything. When I look back on it, I realize how stupid I was, how stupid we both were. We were playing with both our lives, Harry, don’t you see? One misstep and who knows? Maybe Voldemort would have won? Maybe you would have been killed.

 

Though, I’m not sure if you would be dead. You always seem to have some...some strange bit of luck around you. Some small gift that allowed you to stay alive for as long as you have. Merlin knows I would have killed you long ago if not for your vaguely pretty face.

But you’re right, Harry. You’re right - the first time I met you, I was a dick. There’s really no way to sugarcoat it. I was a self-righteous, uppity prick and I apologize for it. What can I say? I was 11, in a household that was different but just as abusive as yours. I was grieving - my parents were grieving; people often forget that there were humans behind those silver masks, living, breathing humans. In some strange, ironic way, we were all fighting for the same thing, weren’t we? Everyone who stepped on that battlefield, every person who cast a spell on that fateful night, they all wanted the same thing. A better world.

So I saw you, Harry, and…

You have to understand. You were famous. Every child in Britain knew your name. Many loved you and some hated you and from young I was raised to despise you. I was told that you represented a side that killed my uncles, killed my grandparents, imprisoned my aunt in Azkaban and destroyed the leader of our cause. I was taught to hate you, Harry. And I did. For 11 years I hated you, this nameless, faceless child- I used to daydream about killing you and restoring honor to our family.

And then I saw you. And it was like everything I had ever learned was tossed out the window. Because you weren’t...you weren’t arrogant like I was, a manipulative, cold hearted bastard. You were...you, I guess. Humble. Scruffy. Completely unaware that you had nearly destroyed my family and Merlin, you didn’t even know that you were famous and I...I tried. In my own pureblood, asshole way I really tried. Because I had been taught my whole life to look down on mudbloods and blood traitors and half breeds and I guess it was just ingrained in me to try and steer you away from them.

Would it matter to you if I said I regret it? Because it keeps me up sometimes, late at night, those small choices that dictated the course of the future. What would have happened if you accepted my offer of friendship? If Hagrid hadn’t told you that all Slytherins were evil? If I had been a bit kinder, if you had been a bit more naive, if things had been changed just slightly. Would we have won the war? Would we have done what we did? Would we have been lovers?

And maybe lovers is too odd a word to describe what we have, because I don’t know if what we had was love. Because love is supposed to make you happy, isn’t it? Love is supposed to make you lighter, lift you up - it’s supposed to be the light in the dark.

But God, that’s not what I feel for you. I have lied and schemed and killed for you, Harry, I have tortured and been tortured myself. I have literally fought in a war for what we had - what we still have and it scares me, sometimes, when I’m lying in bed and the dreams all come flooding in. It scares me to think of what I would do to keep this bond between us.

And here we go, Draco. Rambling again. Dwelling deeper and deeper into my own fucked up head and I don’t know…

I’m trying. I really am. I’m trying to pretend everything is normal but I know it isn’t. You’re the only person who understands this like I do, what it’s like to be a Chosen One in a war.

Maybe I do need help. Maybe Quidditch matches would be a good thing. I mean, what do I have to lose?

Draco


	5. Letter 5 - Harry

Draco, 

 

That’s interesting about Pansy, I placed a sign-up sheet in the common room and her name was on it… I didn’t add names to it...(other than me adding yours, but I told you I did and I told you you were welcome to decline). If she didn’t sign up, my money for that delightful addition is on either, Blaise (he has been rather persistent in teasing her lately, it makes me wonder if something is going on between them) or Hermione (she read what Pansy said about her in that first letter you wrote, and she’s not as law abiding as she sometimes seems). If Pansy is scared, tell her she is welcome to decline. I understand if she isn’t up to the challenge.  

 

As to the rest, I honestly don’t know what to say to you right now. Thanks ever so for, how did you put it? “Not killing me because of my vaguely pretty face.” First of all, good luck with that. Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t have. Also, am I supposed to think that’s a compliment? Am I supposed to thank you? 

 

Let’s move on to this little gem: “Everyone who stepped on that battlefield, every person who cast a spell on that fateful night, they all wanted the same thing. A better world.” Do you even  _ hear _ yourself, Malfoy? You sound like you haven’t changed a bit. I know better than anyone that there were human beings on the other side of those masks. Severus Snape was, I now realise, one of the bravest men in the war, Regulus Black was instrumental in my ability to destroy Voldemort, your _ mother _ saved my life. There were some who were raised to believe the lies and didn’t know better but were able to see that they were wrong and make a different choice. There were some who were scared for their way of life and weren’t educated and exposed enough to know that different isn’t evil or threatening. But no, they didn’t ALL want a better world, some people wanted more power and more money at the expense of others, and some, like Greyback, just enjoyed inflicting pain. 

 

I understand that there was pain and loss on both sides. I understand that growing up, you were raised to believe terrible things about me and that you didn’t have much of a chance to be exposed to other points of view. But if you still believe that everyone on that battlefield fought for a better world, you are either naive or not the person I thought you were. 

 

As to us, yeah, of course, I knew it was dangerous. I just don’t think I cared. Back then, spending the summer at my best friend’s house was dangerous. I just wanted to.  At first, I was just an angry, frightened kid in need of some release. And there you were, you pushed me, and there was so much tension and energy, I still have no idea what I was thinking when I kissed you that first time, or all the subsequent arguments I picked with you after that, just for an excuse to slam you against a wall and let out all my pent up rage and terror by taking what I wanted—what we both needed—just to purge it and feel alive. For a long time, I thought that’s all it was till I realised what I’d done to you in that bathroom. After that night with you in the hospital wing, I thought it could be more. I thought listening to you share your upbringing, admitting your failings, sharing your fears, as I did the same, that maybe, just  _ maybe,  _ I could see myself with you. That we were so alike in so many ways, that it might be nice to be with someone who wasn’t constantly fawning over me, who would challenge me and that the way we were always so drawn to each other might be able to be channelled into something different.

 

But you made your choice, Draco. I laid it all on the line for you that night. You left. Even after the war you never came back. You talk about your feelings and what you would do for me? How am I supposed to know any of that? You haven’t tried to speak to me.

 

I understand. It’s fine. I know you regret the past, I know you regret our first meeting and what we’ve done to each other. I know you regret the war. I’ve often wondered how it could have been different as well. But I need to move on. I don’t have the mental energy to dwell on the past anymore. I don’t want to dwell on the past. 

 

I explained that I want this league to heal our year, and to show other years that the past is over. So that’s what I’m doing. With or without you.  

 

I have divided the players that have played previously into what I am temporarily calling team 1 and 2 to ensure that we have experienced players distributed, I will be Captaining Team 1, Greg will be joining me based on our earlier discussion. Team 2 will have Ron Weasley and Dean Thomas. Dean isn’t particularly experienced as he only played a partial season as a replacement. Also, should you decide not to join us, Ron will take on captaincy of Team 2.  

 

I have posted a date for tryouts this Saturday. The way I figure it, we will try out everyone, maybe Greg will show an aptitude for keeping, or Ron will want to play chaser. I doubt it. But either way, that will make it fair. Also, we need to determine where to place the students that haven’t played before. 

 

I’m going to meet with Hooch and McGonagall and Team 2’s captain after the tryouts to discuss practice schedules. I’m trying to decide how many matches to hold? Maybe we can come up with some sort of interesting prize for the winning team. Keep the competitive spirit alive. I also want to be aware and sensitive about the fact that some of our players are insecure and inexperienced. So we’ll have to be very patient in training. I’m hoping that each team bonding together across houses will help create a sense of unity. Help people get out of their stereotypes and prejudices. Again, I think it will be a bit bumpy. But I think the payoff will be amazing. 

 

I’m not going to ask you again Draco. I am going to do this. I might fail spectacularly but I’ll be damned if I don’t try. So the choice is yours. Saturday on the pitch at noon, if you decide to show up you’d be better be committed and ready to move forward. I really hope that you do. 

 

Harry

 

P.S. I’m rereading this letter, and I realise I sound harsh, I don’t mean to. That’s me. I can’t control my temper. Never could. I mean I was pretty good at it when I was a kid being abused by his aunt and uncle. But then I found out that I was a wizard and that I could escape that, and in the same breath, that my parents had been murdered, not killed in an accident. Then as the years went on and on and people kept trying to kill me, discredit me, or latch on to me to use me, as people I loved continued to die, I just didn’t have the ability to remain calm. I am sorry I let my anger get the better of me. I shouldn’t have been so unkind. I suppose I could have rewritten this letter, but I guess I just wanted you to understand what goes through my head sometimes. I also need you to understand that I just desperately want to create something positive. I am so tired of rehashing old mistakes. I’m tired of the things I love, and the things I want being taken away from me because of choices made by people who are now either dead or in prison. I never asked for any of this. I just want to be on a broom, laughing with friends. And I want those friends to include every student that survived the war intact and who hopes to find peace and joy again, I don’t give a shit what colour your tie is. We all deserve that Draco.

 

I thought I wanted you once. I know I still want you physically, but now, what I want more than anything is to be with someone who I can trust, who loves me, and who wants to try to make all this shit better and put the pieces back together. I don’t know who that person is, but I want it so badly I can taste it. So I’m going to go for it, I’m going to chase a snitch and laugh with friends, old and new, and I’m going to find that person whoever they are, and I’m not going to wait. 


	6. Letter 6 - Draco

Dear Harry, 

Do you know why I fell in love with you, Harry? 

 

I should probably start off with  _ when _ I fell in love with you except I’m not quite sure when exactly that was. Because I  _ hated _ you in first year - I know that for a fact, hated you and your name and your part to play in all this. I still hated you in second year, right up until the whole Heir of Slytherin bullshit came out and I was so scared for you that I couldn’t breathe. I think that’s when I knew, somehow, knew my role in this twisted story. Because of  _ course _ it was the Heir of Slytherin, not the Heir of Gryffindor or Ravenclaw of Hufflepuff. Of course it was Slytherin because they were always evil and how could I expect to be otherwise? 

 

Third year was...Merlin, it was hard. Equal parts fear and anticipation, hope that the world could go back to what my father said it once was and terror for you. Every year you’ve come closer and closer to dying and every year my throat closed up just a little more. 

 

Then fourth year came and Voldemort was back and everyone was celebrating. Everyone  _ I _ knew at least. And I was excited to prove myself, to finally be the  _ best _ at something for once and then I was kissing you in fifth year and…

 

So even though I don’t know  _ when _ I fell in love with you, I sure as hell know  _ why  _ I fell in love with you. All my life I wanted change - I wanted a better world. And you scoff and laugh and say that I’m naive for thinking this but it’s true. My father would tell me stories of life before the wars, of times when the name  _ Malfoy _ was another synonym for  _ goodness _ , when we had the power to remake the world, and maybe it’s false, maybe it’s all bullshit but by God I wanted to believe it. I wanted to believe that we were once heroes. 

 

Back in the first war, Crouch implemented a special law, one that allowed aurors to use unforgivable curses on people suspected of dark magic. And I know - I know it’s nothing compared to what others went through. I know I view the world through a warped and cracked lense. I know that I am perceived as shallow and spoilt, someone who eats off silver spoons. But my father still talks about it - the Dark Days, when purebloods were being pulled off the street and abducted. I think that’s what happens in war - it becomes  _ us _ and  _ them _ and all the lines start to blur together. 

 

The people on your side weren’t angels, Harry. The people on mine weren’t devils. Greyback loves inflicting pain, but only because wizards have abused werewolves for centuries. Everything becomes pull and push, tearing and mending until all that is left is scraps of the original picture. 

 

And it’s why I fell in love with you. You were a  _ hero _ , you were someone that I wanted to be. You changed the world. And I hated and loved you for that, that ability to get what you wanted, to  _ have  _ that happy ending. I wanted that person to be me.

 

And yes, Harry. Everyone did want a better world. For themselves, for their families, for all those selfish reasons that suddenly fade away. The winners write the books. I suppose we’ll always be immortalized as the enemies. 

 

You’re right, though. Dwelling on the past does nothing but stir up ghosts. Yet I can’t seem to separate myself from them.

 

But enough of this. I’ll help you with Quidditch, Harry, of course I will. I owe it to everyone to try and smooth over the cracks. I made too many of them myself.

 

Regarding the prizes, I think it should be something different then just merely house points. And don’t worry about training - I will work my team into a grave. We’ll win this one yet, you’ll see Potter.

 

I’ll see you at the tryouts. 

 

Draco.


	7. Letter 7 - Harry

Draco,   
I never wanted you to think that I believe that one side is black, and one side is white, that one side is inherently good, and one is inherently evil. I don’t know if you understand how much I understand that everyone has the capacity for both inside of them, and that the things that happen in their lives shape the way they grow and their influence their perspectives on the world. But we all make choices in the end, and some people make and stick to choices that are selfish and cruel.   
I was raised in a cupboard by Muggles who locked me up, starved and neglected me, and literally tried to BEAT the magic out of me. I think that makes me a prime candidate to believe that Muggle torture is just, and that Muggles are the enemy. But I didn’t. You were raised believing that the war was just, that Voldemort was your saviour, and yet, you still couldn’t murder an unarmed man.  
If werewolf oppression is a justification for Greybacks cruelty I wish you could have gotten to know and spoken with Remus Lupin before he died defending Hogwarts and the side that didn’t believe that rage and destruction were going to solve the problem. If being raised by a strictly pureblooded family with a pedigree who believes in preserving their way of life is an excuse for violent torture, I wish you could have met Regulus Black, a proud Death Eater who died painfully to see Voldemort destroyed. And if being tormented and teased by people on the opposing side was an excuse for not seeing that torture and murder to seek power were wrong then you didn’t know Severus Snape as well as you thought. His life was riddled with pain, a lot of it caused by people who I grew up revering as heroes. Severus was far from perfect, but in the end he died for what was right.   
I know exactly how true it is that people can change, and that not every person on the ”side of the light” is good. I know what my father did, he was a horrible, spiteful, bully when he was young, as was my godfather, and I am ashamed of the things they did then.   
I know what I DID Draco. I cut you, and panicked as you bled out on a bathroom floor. I am not confused about grey areas. But I do believe that, in the end, there is right and wrong.   
Right is Hermione sitting up late at night, researching werewolf rights to improve the laws without killing people. Right is telling the Minister of Magic that you will not be his pawn, because even though he opposes Voldemort he is a power hungry opportunist. Right is YOU not killing someone, even though you and your family would be in danger, because you knew it was wrong.   
People are right and wrong on both sides. But there is still a difference between right and wrong. Some people find it later in life. But what matters in the end is what you CHOOSE. The pain people experience is complicated and difficult. Wrong is when you choose to give in to it, and let your anger and pain rule you. When you care more about yourself and your anger over the needs of humanity, and frankly, some people are so angry they want to watch the world burn.  
And this idea that one side is right and one is wrong is the EXACT POINT of this quidditch league. It is unity. It is getting over the past. It is about getting to know each other as more than houses. I’m actually quite proud that there was no fighting or throwing things at tryouts.   
As promised, here is the official team roster. 

Team 1  
Seeker - Harry Potter G  
Keeper - Susan Bones H  
Beater 1 - Gregory Goyle S  
Beater 2 - Hermione Granger G  
Chaser 1 - Michael Corner R  
Chaser 2 - Theodore Nott S  
Chaser 3 - Hanna Abbott H

 

Team 2  
Seeker - Draco Malfoy S  
Keeper - Ronald Weasley G  
Beater 1 -Pansy Parkinson S  
Beater 2 - Terry Boot R  
Chaser 1 -Dean Thomas G  
Chaser 2 - Justin Finch-Fletchley H  
Chaser 3 -Blaise Zabini S

 

Alternates  
Ernie MacMillan H  
Anthony Goldstein R

Susan could barely get her broom off the ground at first but I was actually very impressed by her reflexes at the hoops. I think I can train her. It will be challenging but, she’s got skill. The thing with Ron is that his skill level coincides with his confidence. If you make him nervous he overthinks, and his coordination suffers, so try not to go all “Weasley is our King” on him. Or actually, I take it back, do. Because I want my team to win. ;)  
I found it interesting that Hermione and Pansy showed such an aptitude for beating, once off the ground. I mean I can’t say I’m surprised, those girls have a lot of pent up rage. I can’t wait to see what happens when ‘Mione throws a bludger at Ron. I have a feeling Pansy will show no mercy when aiming at Greg or Theo.   
Thank you for taking Fletchley. I realize this whole endeavour is about friendship, but I can’t stand that guy. And frankly, I’m upset that I had to give you Blaise to do it. Why did he never try out before? He’s fast, and his hand eye coordination is fantastic.   
I think overall the teams are well balanced. Did you feel the buzz in the common room tonight? People are excited! The feeling of unity for their team is already superseding old house loyalties. I saw Hermione sitting with Greg to work on his homework. She’s scary sometimes and a taskmaster about studying, but she does have a way with people. I think she’s taken him on as a special project to help him feel more confident in his classes. Merlin save Greg… But the look on his face, that wonder of being doted on made me feel like this crazy idea of mine might just pay off. Also was it just me, or was Dean chatting up Pansy? And she didn’t punch him? This is insane Draco.   
I was watching you out of the corner of my eye when we met with our teams. You’ve always been a natural leader. The way you seemed to get them all together with your smile and that charm you have when you choose to use it reminded me why I could possibly love you. I know that in these letters we have had differences of opinion. Maybe it’s semantics, maybe it’s just leftover ideology from the people that raised us. I’m trying to listen. I think we are saying the same thing. People aren’t born good or evil. Your house and your family do not define you. What defines you is your actions. I want this league to be a way to break down stereotypes and old prejudices and be a source of joy.   
I just looked up. As I write this you are looking at me. Your smile, Merlin... I love it that you are looking at me like that. And in a public place. And nobody is noticing or thinks it’s odd or wrong. I think I’m going to put this quill down, fold up this letter and walk over to you now. I think I might just skip the owl and put it directly in your pocket. I wonder what will happen if I kiss you right here, in the middle of the common room when I do? The sorting hat may have thought I’d be a good choice for Slytherin, I think that may be true, but I’m not a Gryffindor for nothing. Here I go…

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments and kudos to show some love for the pen pals!


End file.
